Sat Jan 5, 2019, 02:58 AM

Tommorow morning I have to cleaned up & go check out new property.

Need A property description so I can get everything in a contract. Out of time & it's going to be tough. Have to move so mom will have access to a Nursing home. She has Alzheimer's. Took care of her for years & it took a year for her to be diagnosed. When she moved in my life turned upside down.

I am oldest of 3 sons & dad basically disappeared when I turned 14. Abusive toward mom & I. But I am now exhausted. For the last few years I have woken every morning @ 4:00 AM. Now I need to take care of self. Dad was decades ago diagnosed w/ narcissum. Like Trump he chose favorites among his sons. I was 'persona non grata'. Now he has Parkinson's. He had 'married' girlfriends which in his mind worked until their husbands found out. One I had to get restaining order for her b/c she was stalking mom & I in addition to making threats. Later it was determined he was encouraging her to stalk us.

My brothers have become just as abusive. My responsibilities are through now, trying to be an older brother. Like life, I felt it was a role the 'adults' in the room should have played. Family is now done. I can't fix it.

Youngest brother converted to Islam in college & went to P.A.K one summer. He resents my drinking b/c he doesn't. He likes to get 'Medieval' on me. I drink as a coping mechanism b/c I have seen too many friends die. Plus I am not Muslim. Sobered up for a year and a half to take care of Mom, & he still came after me.

I finally had to tell him never come over again, b/c of head injuries & blood loss. He wants my $ & complains constantly about mom who moved in w/ him last year. He insisted though she move into his house. Once I came from a family of means ... But that is mostly gone. What I never did was complain or to invite myself into his home only to get abusive & steal his furniture, which he's done for years, now. I jumped thru hoops for him & mom & finally complained I was missing too much work. He got angry b/c I was taking her to doctors when he made appointments for her always during middle of weekday, @ his behest, about every other week. For about a year I was taking her to physical therapy every day, again missing a few hours of work, daily.

Physical Therapist finally discharged her for having completed the term.
Explained to my brother she had been discharged & he became even angrier w/ me.

So I tried having conversation about the cost of time & $ w/ both brothers, made mistake of saying, 'we are all going to die someday'.
It was a pitch to start managing her health care costs.

After sobering up she was getting better .... She was finally doing small chores again & house was in order. The trick was to get her off couch & away from T.V.

My other brother, though he has means, doesn't do a darn thing for her. I once suggested he could help too & he yelled @ me in front of my boss that he never had any intention of never helping, ever.
He has boats, toys & he his wife go to separate separate spring breaks @ least once a year. I tried having a conversation w/ both brothers as to what she had requested but only got half a sentence out, before he gave me 7 concussions in about 45 min.
He came close to breaking one of my ribs & may have fractured one. I was knocked unconcuiness & when I came to he was walking on me & kicking me. Told me he wanted me dead by end of day. I tasted iron in my blood for almost a week.

What I don't get anymore is the 'guys' who have everything are the angriest w/ everyone. They've never been denied & no one has ever told them 'No'. They are self-absorbed adolescents in a middle-aged body.

Again, I am exhausted.
Much else to do & need to return to work on regular schedule.

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Reply Tommorow morning I have to cleaned up & go check out new property. (Original post)
RATFINK_5.0 Jan 2019 OP
foia Jan 2019 #1
RATFINK_5.0 Jan 2019 #3
Phlegm Monger Jan 2019 #2
RATFINK_5.0 Jan 2019 #4
Currentsitguy Jan 2019 #5

Response to RATFINK_5.0 (Original post)

Sat Jan 5, 2019, 03:40 AM

1. Did you file charges against your brother?

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Response to foia (Reply #1)

Sat Jan 5, 2019, 09:35 PM

3. No, but that was misplaced by my own self.

I got tired of filing restraining orders these last few decades, & b/c the larger issue was our mother, I tried being amenable.
Already there have been civil court actions. My youngest brother was a witness & completely lied about what had occurred so in criminal court he would be committing perjurey, but I'd have to prove it.

When I was @ work a few months ago they both came in, stole paintings & most of my furniture & trashed the house. Then insisted I sell the house so mom could get $ to pay 4 her nursing home. How the heck do I sell a house they themselves trashed ?
I'm through w/ both of them. Where I am moving I can get some protection. Many friends are out there & I will be between 2 rival gangs ... Irish Mob & Aryan Brotherhood. I know who my friends are ... & it ain't the Aryans.

No intention of committing crimes but Oklahoma Law allows you to shoot & kill anyone who steps across your threshold w/ malintent.

The houses on that side of town were constructed by roughnecks & because of rampant thievery & murder @ turn of century in the oil patch, the houses were designed to shoot a shotgun down hall & into front door.

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Response to RATFINK_5.0 (Original post)

Sat Jan 5, 2019, 05:35 AM

2. Sorry to hear this - aging parents can be a huge strain.

It's important to take some time to care for yourself too.

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Response to Phlegm Monger (Reply #2)

Sat Jan 5, 2019, 10:06 PM

4. Alzheimer's is difficult in a parent.

It got to point I couldn't let her cook. Too dangerous.

She kept losing phones, house keys & car keys. That's when we took her to doctors for a diagnoses.

I use to keep wallet & keys on table close to wear I slept & woke the next morning on a weekday only to find them all gone. She admitted she had cleaned while I slept so I asked her where they were b/c I had to go to work, & she said "I don't know", to which I told her I have to get to work.

Not only did she rock my world & turn my life upside down, people wan't you to spend enormous amount on a parent w/ Alzheimer's. Not only that but every waking moment, when not @ work, is spent dealing w/ a sick parent.

What's more is you don't get reimbursed & have burned through my savings.

No one appreciates the time you spent but the minute you request help, non-montery, everyone resents you for asking in the 1st place, even if it's their parent too.

So I'm done.

Have to look out for #1 here on out ... need new car, clothes, food, etc. The old canard, if you can't help yourself, you can't help anyone.

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Response to RATFINK_5.0 (Original post)

Mon Jan 7, 2019, 02:02 PM

5. This is why I am grateful

Both my wife and myself are only children.

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