Lifelifehealth

Mon Jan 14, 2019, 10:43 PM

Does anyone have a family member in a VA Retirement Home?

I need to get my Pop into one as soon as possible, and it's going to have to be in a facility that has Skilled Nursing Care.

It's been a tough coupla years for him. He's had a stroke, lost both legs to diabetes, and his wife of 59 years in May. At the moment he's living with my sister here in CA. Her fiance quit his job to become his full-time caretaker, and I'm afraid he's being mentally if not physically abused.

His stroke cost him the use of his left hand, and the amputations cost him any mobility he might have had left. His day consists of being transferred from his bed to his wheelchair, from his wheelchair to his easy chair, from his easy chair back to the wheelchair to go outside and smoke. His day ends with him being transferred from his wheelchair to his bed. Non-ambulatory. Can't dress himself or wipe his ass or even sit on the toilet because he has no balance (though I bet if someone PUT him on a toilet he could do his business and have at least a LITTLE of his dignity left).

In case you're wondering, he can't live with me because I live at 7,000 feet in a resort town (his lungs and heart couldn't take that we've already been told) and there are no medical facilities within 40 miles.

Everything I'm seeing has extremely long wait times and I'm at the end of my rope. I went to spend the night with him Saturday at her house so they could go away for the weekend and he cried. I waited until after I put him to bed and cried myself because it hurts to see him so unhappy.

Anyone have any experience with VA retirement homes? I'm dyin' here.

4 replies, 143 views

Reply to this thread

Back to top Alert abuse

Always highlight: 10 newest replies | Replies posted after I mark a forum
Replies to this discussion thread
Arrow 4 replies Author Time Post
Reply Does anyone have a family member in a VA Retirement Home? (Original post)
JaimeBondoJr Jan 14 OP
RCW2014 Jan 14 #1
Troll2 Jan 14 #2
New Deal Democrat Jan 14 #3
DDKick Jan 15 #4

Response to JaimeBondoJr (Original post)

Mon Jan 14, 2019, 11:14 PM

1. The way things happened with a aunt I semi took care of was this.

She was admitted to the hospital for a severe UTI as she could barely walk and I'm certain proper hygiene was not being done.

Since her hospital stay was over 3 days, she was entitled by law to receive rehab for up to 21 days, covered by medicare.

About 14 days in, it was obvious she wasnt going to be able to live on her own and we met with the social worker at the rehab facility and informed them she had no other option but long-term care.

This part was important, we placed her in a facility that did take a limited number of medicaid residents (some 80% of residents in long-term care are on medicaid).

By law again, because she entered the facility via medicare, they had to convert her to a long-term medicaid resident.

We chose a very nice place for her rehab not knowing this would become her forever home.

Thing that has to happen is a 3+ day hospital stay, rehab at a nice facility and doctors conclusion that the person can not takecare of themselves.

This bypasses all the waiting lists but the hospital stay is the ticket.

Research rehab facilities that except medicaid forehand. We just got lucky with this one as some do suck.

My aunt could not be happier there considering her isolated conditions before.

One note however, the State will look for assets the resident may have to offset costs, e.i. houses, cars, accounts but that should be expected.

VA benefits, which she is entitled to, was a clusterfuck of red tape and assorted bullshit.

Hope all works out well for you.

I hope I never live to such an age, personally.

Godspeed.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to JaimeBondoJr (Original post)

Mon Jan 14, 2019, 11:20 PM

2. No, but it looks like a Nursing Home is what is needed.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to JaimeBondoJr (Original post)

Mon Jan 14, 2019, 11:46 PM

3. Troll is right.

But you might also want to consider a regular nursing home that Medicare and/or Medicaid would pay for depending on his financial situation and eligibility. This could get you around the wait list problem you seem to be having with the VA.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to JaimeBondoJr (Original post)

Tue Jan 15, 2019, 07:33 AM

4. While I can't offer advise I can hope for a good outcome for you and your family.

Hang in there.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink

Lifelifehealth