Funjokeoneliner

Mon Sep 22, 2014, 03:31 PM

Tell a joke in 10 words or fewer...

Peter, release me from this cross ......feeeeeeet fiiiiiirst you bastaaaaaaard!!
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A blind man walks into a bar...and a table.
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PMS should be called ovary acting.
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Never believe an atom - they make up everything.
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"I left an electron behind."

"Are you sure?"

"I'm positive."
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I hate those Russian dolls.....so full of themselves.
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Arrow 37 replies Author Time Post
Reply Tell a joke in 10 words or fewer... (Original post)
Jaime Espinoza Sep 2014 OP
Juan Rico Sep 2014 #1
TIMETOCHANGE Sep 2014 #2
smalllivingeddy Sep 2014 #4
TIMETOCHANGE Sep 2014 #6
-LoveCatsMusicGames- Sep 2014 #3
Sir_Laugh_A_Lot Sep 2014 #33
Andronikos Sep 2014 #5
Tepid Sep 2014 #7
eddiepina Sep 2014 #8
Crazy in SoFla Sep 2014 #9
Bozo Haram Sep 2014 #10
Banshee 3 Actual Sep 2014 #11
OVdem Sep 2014 #12
.30M1 Sep 2014 #13
Badlander Sep 2014 #14
Badlander Sep 2014 #15
Pazman Sep 2014 #16
Banshee 3 Actual Sep 2014 #17
Appalachian Man Sep 2014 #18
gowiththrottleup Sep 2014 #19
vulturefood Sep 2014 #25
gowiththrottleup Sep 2014 #26
MercATC Sep 2014 #20
saspamco Sep 2014 #21
The Center Holds Sep 2014 #22
Silent But Deadly Sep 2014 #23
chknltl117 Sep 2014 #37
liberalguy Sep 2014 #24
chknltl117 Sep 2014 #27
chknltl117 Sep 2014 #28
chknltl117 Sep 2014 #29
chknltl117 Sep 2014 #30
Jaime Espinoza Sep 2014 #31
chknltl117 Sep 2014 #36
.30M1 Sep 2014 #32
Sir_Laugh_A_Lot Sep 2014 #34
LineLineNew Reply .
chknltl117 Sep 2014 #35

Response to Jaime Espinoza (Original post)

Mon Sep 22, 2014, 03:38 PM

1. Here goes:

Question on a test: Describe the universe. Give three examples.

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Response to Jaime Espinoza (Original post)

Mon Sep 22, 2014, 03:46 PM

2. Let's see.

 

What do you get an 80 woman for her birthday, Mikey, he'll eat anything.

Well since I'm full of fail on this one, how about a hunting joke. -

A well known big game hunter decides to go to Africa to hunt Gorillas (should date the joke). Upon arriving in Africa, he inquires into who is the best hunting guide when it comes to Gorillas. Shortly he meets a local native named Coquinbe and his dog Dauchu (those aren't the actual names, this is an old joke but the names are supposed to translate to ball cuper for the guide and ball eater for the dog). The guide agrees to take the hunter into the jungle to hunt gorillas. The hunter asks if his large game rifle will be sufficient. The guide assures him that the rifle will be quite necessary.

On the first day the guide and hunter, with the dog go into jungle to find a large silver back gorilla. As the hunter readies his aim the guide stops him and releases the dog. The dog chases the gorilla into a tree and the guide shortly follows after where he knocks the gorilla out of a tree. Upon the gorilla hitting the ground and being dazed the dog leaps upon the gorilla and proceeds to tear the gorilla's testicles off and so the gorilla bleeds to death. The hunter is awed by the sight but feels unfulfilled.

On the second day another gorilla is spotted and the same thing occurs. As the dog munches happily on the severed testicles the hunter feels his bringing the rifle was pointless and complains to the guide. The guide assures him the rifle will be quite necessary soon.

On the third day the hunter spots a mother gorilla with her young, the hunter has lost his taste for hunting at this time and awaits the grizzly sight to unfold. The guide goes into the tree after the mother gorilla and her young to only find himself knocked from the tree. On the way down the hunter can hear the guide screaming "Shoot the dog, shoot the dog." Upon returning home the hunter has given up his rifle and gifts to his wife a ennuch who no longer speaks, and to his son-in-law, known for climbing and at times for falling out of trees, a dog named Dauchu.

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Response to TIMETOCHANGE (Reply #2)

Mon Sep 22, 2014, 04:22 PM

4. Uh,

10 words????

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Response to smalllivingeddy (Reply #4)

Mon Sep 22, 2014, 04:25 PM

6. I said I was full of fail on this one. But a good joke is a good joke. n/t

 

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Response to Jaime Espinoza (Original post)

Mon Sep 22, 2014, 03:46 PM

3. Here's one....

So, this baby seal walks into a club....

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Response to -LoveCatsMusicGames- (Reply #3)

Fri Sep 26, 2014, 06:47 PM

33. Reluctantly

laughing.

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Response to Jaime Espinoza (Original post)

Mon Sep 22, 2014, 04:23 PM

5. Barack Hussein Obama

 

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Response to Andronikos (Reply #5)

Mon Sep 22, 2014, 04:49 PM

7. "The most transparent administration EVER" n/t

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Response to Jaime Espinoza (Original post)

Mon Sep 22, 2014, 04:58 PM

8. And then the squirrel said

Those aren't MY nuts!!

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Response to Jaime Espinoza (Original post)

Mon Sep 22, 2014, 05:40 PM

9. Proctologist:

"If this is my thermometer, some asshole's got my pen!"

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Response to Jaime Espinoza (Original post)

Mon Sep 22, 2014, 06:26 PM

10. OK

Last edited Mon Sep 22, 2014, 06:59 PM - Edit history (1)

What's the last thing to go through a bug's mind when it smashes into your windscreen? Its arse!

Aw bugger, that's more than 10 words...

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Response to Jaime Espinoza (Original post)

Mon Sep 22, 2014, 06:52 PM

11. Obama......

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Response to Jaime Espinoza (Original post)

Mon Sep 22, 2014, 07:37 PM

12. Ted Cruz hahahaha n/t

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Response to Jaime Espinoza (Original post)

Mon Sep 22, 2014, 07:43 PM

13. Picture is a thousand words but...

?t=1192785863

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Response to Jaime Espinoza (Original post)

Mon Sep 22, 2014, 07:52 PM

14. 24-hour banking?

I don't have time for that.

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Response to Jaime Espinoza (Original post)

Mon Sep 22, 2014, 07:58 PM

15. The frustrated cannibal

threw up his hands.

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Response to Jaime Espinoza (Original post)

Mon Sep 22, 2014, 08:17 PM

16. Too obvious

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED

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Response to Pazman (Reply #16)

Mon Sep 22, 2014, 08:22 PM

17. Hope and Change

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Response to Jaime Espinoza (Original post)

Mon Sep 22, 2014, 09:26 PM

18. Republicans evolved!

Corporations are people, my friend!

Two peanuts walked into a bar and one was assaulted.

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Response to Jaime Espinoza (Original post)

Tue Sep 23, 2014, 12:26 AM

19. Why no jokes about Jonestown,

Guyanna? Punchline is too long.

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Response to gowiththrottleup (Reply #19)

Tue Sep 23, 2014, 11:54 PM

25. *spittake*

I can't believe I've never heard that before!

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Response to vulturefood (Reply #25)

Wed Sep 24, 2014, 12:22 AM

26. Very dark. But, as a friend taught

me, one has to be able to laugh at darkness if you are in it, to keep yourself human

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Response to Jaime Espinoza (Original post)

Tue Sep 23, 2014, 01:50 AM

20. What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsssssh.

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Response to Jaime Espinoza (Original post)

Tue Sep 23, 2014, 08:06 AM

21. Repub prez primary, 2016.

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Response to Jaime Espinoza (Original post)

Tue Sep 23, 2014, 07:11 PM

22. "Anything to declare, Mr. Photon?"

"No, I'm traveling light."

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Response to Jaime Espinoza (Original post)

Tue Sep 23, 2014, 08:57 PM

23. It's a sad joke that some people can't keep politics outta the "FUN" group.

Kind of ruins a good thread.

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Response to Silent But Deadly (Reply #23)

Sat Sep 27, 2014, 12:27 AM

37. +1. nuff said

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Response to Jaime Espinoza (Original post)

Tue Sep 23, 2014, 10:26 PM

24. Dyslexic agnostic insomniac: sleeplessly considering the existence of dog. n/t

 

Why don't cannibals eat clowns?
Because they taste funny.

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Response to Jaime Espinoza (Original post)

Fri Sep 26, 2014, 04:10 AM

27. What is the opposite of irony?

Wrinkly of course!

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Response to Jaime Espinoza (Original post)

Fri Sep 26, 2014, 04:17 AM

28. Can't be part of the solution?

Then you must precipitate!

(it's an old chemistry joke)

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Response to Jaime Espinoza (Original post)

Fri Sep 26, 2014, 04:23 AM

29. The inventor of 'Knock-knock' jokes

got the no-bell peace prize.

(Yeah I know, but it is ten words if one accepts the mash-ups)

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Response to Jaime Espinoza (Original post)

Fri Sep 26, 2014, 04:25 AM

30. Gwenn Stefanni song about mouse bestiality?

Don't Squeak!

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Response to Jaime Espinoza (Original post)

Fri Sep 26, 2014, 01:03 PM

31. more....

The worst thing about discovering a nearby galaxy?

It's blue.
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Neutron: How much per beer?

Bartender: For you, no charge.
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Why do chickens cross roads?

Proof it's possible for armadillos
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What do you call a drowning armless legless man?

Bob
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Response to Jaime Espinoza (Reply #31)

Sat Sep 27, 2014, 12:21 AM

36. Regarding chickens and their road crossing habbits...

No, it is not ten words or less but:
If a chicken plays in the mud, then crosses the road and then crosses the road a second time what could you call it?

A Dirty Double Crosser!

(Chickens aren't so tall you know, so you wouldn't be wrong in calling it a Low-Down Dirty Double-Crosser either)

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Response to Jaime Espinoza (Original post)

Fri Sep 26, 2014, 05:49 PM

32. What's black and never works?

Decaffeinated coffee.





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Response to Jaime Espinoza (Original post)

Fri Sep 26, 2014, 06:50 PM

34. >>>>

Heard the one about the corduroy pillow?

It made headlines.

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Response to Sir_Laugh_A_Lot (Reply #34)

Sat Sep 27, 2014, 12:05 AM

35. .

That one is gonna get used bunches by me. Thanks

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