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Wed Nov 19, 2014, 11:23 AM

American liberals sneaking across the border into Canada.....

American liberals sneaking across the border into Canada.....
Date: Mon, Nov 10, 2014 at 6:16 PM
The Manitoba Herald:

The flood of American liberals sneaking across the border into Canada has intensified in the past week sparking calls for increased patrols to stop the illegal immigration. The recent actions of the Tea Party and the fact Republicans won the Senate are prompting an exodus among left-leaning citizens who fear they'll soon be required to hunt, pray and to agree with Bill O'Reilly and Glenn Beck.

Canadian border farmers say it's not uncommon to see dozens of sociology professors, animal-rights activists and Unitarians crossing their fields at night. "I went out to milk the cows the other day, and there was a Hollywood producer huddled in the barn," said Southern Manitoba farmer Red Greenfield whose acreage borders North Dakota. “The producer was cold, exhausted and hungry. He asked me if I could spare a latte and some free-range chicken. When I said I didn't have any, he left before I even got a chance to show him my screenplay, eh?"

In an effort to stop the illegal aliens, Greenfield erected higher fences, but the liberals scaled them. He then installed loud speakers that blared Rush Limbaugh across the fields. "Not real effective," he said. "The liberals still got through and Rush annoyed the cows so much that they wouldn't give any milk." Officials are particularly concerned about smugglers who meet liberals near the Canadian border, pack them into Volvo station wagons, and drive them across the border where they are simply left to fend for themselves. "A lot of these people are not prepared for our rugged conditions," an Ontario border patrolman said. "I found one carload without a single bottle of imported drinking water. They did have a nice little Napa Valley Cabernet though."

When liberals are caught, they're sent back across the border, often wailing loudly that they fear retribution from conservatives. Rumors have been circulating about plans being made to build re-education camps where liberals will be forced to drink domestic beer and watch NASCAR races. In recent days, liberals have turned to ingenious ways of crossing the border. Some have been disguised as senior citizens taking a bus trip to buy cheap Canadian prescription drugs. After catching a half-dozen young vegans in powdered wig disguises, Canadian immigration authorities began stopping buses and quizzing the supposed senior-citizens about Perry Como and Rosemary Clooney to prove that they were alive in the '50s. "If they can't identify the accordion player on The Lawrence Welk Show, we become very suspicious about their age," an official said.

Canadian citizens have complained that the illegal immigrants are creating an organic-broccoli shortage and are renting all the Michael Moore movies. "I really feel sorry for American liberals, but the Canadian economy just can't support them," an Ottawa resident said. "How many art-history majors does one country need?"
In an effort to ease tensions between the United States and Canada, Vice President Biden met with the Canadian ambassador and pledged that the administration would take steps to reassure liberals. A source close to President Obama said, "We're going to have some Paul McCartney and Peter, Paul & Mary concerts. And we might even put some endangered species on postage stamps

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Arrow 14 replies Author Time Post
Reply American liberals sneaking across the border into Canada..... (Original post)
Jack Burton Nov 2014 OP
City Kitty Nov 2014 #1
Sassyspop Nov 2014 #4
Troll2 Nov 2014 #2
mjrr Nov 2014 #3
Konservative Nov 2014 #5
WritelyWrong Nov 2014 #7
Konservative Nov 2014 #8
WritelyWrong Nov 2014 #9
Konservative Nov 2014 #12
WritelyWrong Nov 2014 #13
Konservative Nov 2014 #14
WritelyWrong Nov 2014 #6
southernwriter Nov 2014 #10
Jack Burton Nov 2014 #11

Response to Jack Burton (Original post)

Wed Nov 19, 2014, 11:29 AM

1. Sarah Palin and Her Family Did That

to get free health care. At least the liberals in your Onion-esque piece weren't stealing anything.

Thanks for reminding us how much better things are in Canada!

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Response to City Kitty (Reply #1)

Wed Nov 19, 2014, 12:37 PM

4. Except she didn't...."get free health care"

 

You might want to do some research....especially on the timing of the "care" in question.
I have the links to support MY side of the debate... so be thorough.

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Response to Jack Burton (Original post)

Wed Nov 19, 2014, 12:54 PM

5. Are Liberals so uptight, they can't laugh at themselves?

 

It's just satire peeps. No harm done.

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Response to Konservative (Reply #5)

Wed Nov 19, 2014, 01:15 PM

7. Uptight? We are lot looser

 

than our conservative friends were 6 years ago when a man of color was elected president 6 years ago. Unlike most of them, we can Move On.

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Response to WritelyWrong (Reply #7)

Wed Nov 19, 2014, 01:21 PM

8. What is his 'color' my kaleidoscope carrying friend?

 

Is he black because he claims to be....

Or half black like his parentage indicates?

If you want to make color important, get it right.

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Response to Konservative (Reply #8)

Wed Nov 19, 2014, 01:36 PM

9. Doesn't matter what color his skin is

 

it wasn't the same as theirs, which upset the people who still thinks that color matters.

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Response to WritelyWrong (Reply #9)

Wed Nov 19, 2014, 01:49 PM

12. I didn't ask if it mattered. I asked you to address the 'color'

 

You raised in your comment. You said the Right doesn't like him because he is a person of color.

What is that color? Black as is claimed? Or half-black by parentage? You brought color into this. Let's make sure you know what that color truly is.

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Response to Konservative (Reply #12)

Wed Nov 19, 2014, 02:05 PM

13. Asked and answered in reply #9

 

Now back to beating that dead horse of yours

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Response to WritelyWrong (Reply #13)

Wed Nov 19, 2014, 04:27 PM

14. It was your horse I beat dead friend. You entered it in the race. nt

 

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Response to Jack Burton (Original post)

Wed Nov 19, 2014, 01:11 PM

6. I didn't go North to avoid the draft

 

nor did I go north because of King Ronald the forgetful, nor for the great vacationer GWB. I sure in hell ain't going north for the current batch of whiny tea sippers. I'm sticking around to sit back, sip bourbon and remind ya'll that you caused this mess and you now have two years show that you can fix it.

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Response to Jack Burton (Original post)

Wed Nov 19, 2014, 01:36 PM

10. Linky?

Even if it is The Onion.

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Response to southernwriter (Reply #10)

Wed Nov 19, 2014, 01:37 PM

11. Don't know.

It was emailed to me without attribution.

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