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Mon Sep 16, 2019, 03:45 PM

Great Babylon Bee satire about Pumpkin Spice

https://babylonbee.com/news/white-girl-turned-into-pillar-of-pumpkin-spice-after-looking-back-at-starbucks

NEW YORK, NY—Local white girl Chloe Winters was tragically turned into a pillar of pumpkin spice after she looked back longingly at a local Starbucks.

Her boyfriend, Zander Byers, said they should keep moving as the line was long and the pumpkin spice drinks are "actually pretty gross and don't really taste like either pumpkin or spice."

But Winters didn't listen and as the two fled the area, she craned her neck to get one final glance. Instantly, she was transformed into a pillar of pumpkin spice, along with her Uggs, North Face jacket, and yoga pants.

"Aw, man," her boyfriend sighed. "This is the third girlfriend I've had this happen to this month." Byers says he's probably gonna stay away from white girls in the dating scene, so that he doesn't have to go through a painful time of grieving as they are instantly paralyzed in a pillar of vaguely pumpkiny-smelling spices.

"But you know, she kinda had it coming," he said. "God is very clear: we are to forsake the things of the world, such as disgusting drinks from corporate coffee shops."

At publishing time, authorities had confirmed the street in front of the Starbucks was littered with "hundreds" of statues of white girls made entirely out of pumpkin spice.

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Reply Great Babylon Bee satire about Pumpkin Spice (Original post)
Currentsitguy Sep 16 OP
Squeek Sep 16 #1
Currentsitguy Sep 16 #2
Daves Not Here Man Sep 16 #3

Response to Currentsitguy (Original post)

Mon Sep 16, 2019, 04:49 PM

1. white girl here....

who actually hates pumpkin spice in anything other than pumpkin pie.

This whole pumpkin spice deal is just gross.





PS...I just noticed the pumpkin spice colored puke coming from the smilie's mouth. yech

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Response to Squeek (Reply #1)

Mon Sep 16, 2019, 04:56 PM

2. I, and my wife, are in complete agreement with you

Hell, I don't even like pumpkin pie.

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Response to Currentsitguy (Reply #2)

Mon Sep 16, 2019, 08:52 PM

3. Yeah...it is not that great. Just ok.

The best thing about the pumpkin pie was that my mom would make whipped cream for the topping. That meant I got the bowl and mixer to lick, AND spread some all over the pie.

No cream....pass on the pie.

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