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Profile Information

Gender: Male
Hometown: Oregon
Home country: United States
Current location: Oregon
Member since: Thu May 15, 2014, 06:44 AM
Number of posts: 2,664

About Me

My avatar picture is NOT me. It's radio talk show host Michael Berry.

Journal Archives

Digestive System Blues.

Blockage in my bowel
Makes me feel just foul.

Blood in my stool
And ya know, it ain’t cool.

Now I got flatulence
That don’t make no sense.

Dr. Colitis diagnosed, “inflammatory bowel disease.”
Thanks for putting my mind at ease!

He told me, “To cure constipation,
Of fruit you must increase your daily ration.”

I fretted. “What if I get diarrhea??”
He shrugged. “Be glad you don’t live in North Korea.”

The Doctor held his camera as I complained of hemorrhoids.
“Not to worry,” said he. “I’ll just snap a few Polaroids.”

Dr. Colitis gravely intoned, “You have gastritis.
Or maybe it’s plain ol’ appendicitis.

Of course, it could also be pancreatitis
Or the hardest of all to pronounce: diverticulitis.”

He looked thoughtful. “Perhaps it’s achalasia
Or even … Um, no, you don’t have eclampsia.”

As he practiced putting, I told him, “It hurts when I urinate.”
He said, “I have a one-thirty tee time. Don’t wanna be late.”

“Doctor,” I wailed, “I’ve followed your instructions. What more??”
He smiled. “Pay the receptionist on your way out the door.”

With me, this Doctor did not make a hit.
You might say he was full of …


Am I The Only Discussionist Poster

Who is getting pretty damn sick of RCW 2014??

Twenty-Seven of the first fifty threads on the News page were started by RCW 2014. (As of 10:45 P. M. Pacific Daylight Time Wednesday Apr 11.)

Enough is enough, RCW.

Two Songs That Were Even Before My Time.

Slow-dance to the first one. Shag out to the second.

Who Is Sweet House??

He or she is resurrecting old threads from the early days of Discussionist. Then he self-deletes the post that bumped the thread.

Anybody have any idea?? Is he a poster that got FFR at some point in the past?? And what is his motivation??

New American Bible.

The New American bible is a online Catholic bible. Anyone who is interested in the differences between the King James Version and the Catholic bible can check it out.

Basically, the Catholic Old Testament contains seven more books than the KJV. Far as I know, the New Testaments are identical except for minor translation differences.

New American also has a lot of explanatory material. Most books have an introduction, some of them quite long. And every chapter has footnotes.

Recently, there's been some discussion of The Flood in this forum. Here's a passage from New American's introduction to Genesis. (The full intro is quite a bit longer.)

"How should modern readers interpret the creation-flood story in Gn 2–11? The stories are neither history nor myth. `Myth' is an unsuitable term, for it has several different meanings and connotes untruth in popular English. `History' is equally misleading, for it suggests that the events actually took place. The best term is creation-flood story. Ancient Near Eastern thinkers did not have our methods of exploring serious questions. Instead, they used narratives for issues that we would call philosophical and theological. They added and subtracted narrative details and varied the plot as they sought meaning in the ancient stories."

My Short Story, Tower Of Babel, Now For Sale On Amazon!

Yes, I know you guys frown on commercial spam, and also on cross-posting the same OP in more than one forum. I'm hoping you'll give a fellow Discussionist member a break this time. I'm going to plug my story, my first attempt to publish on Amazon. And I'm going to post this in both "Culture" and "Beliefs."

My story is titled "Tower Of Babel." It is a fictional account of ... The Tower Of Babel, as described in Genesis. Cost is $1.99. Most short stories on Amazon sell for half that, but a lot of them are reprints that have previously appeared elsewhere. My story is not only brand new and original, it's also (Even if I say so myself) pretty good. Suitable for students, Christians, or anybody who appreciates good story telling.

Unfortunately, it's buried among the millions of Amazon entries, so you'll need to look for it. Fiction --> Historical --> Christian. Then type "Tower" in the keyword search.

Happy Valentine's Day

To my friends here on Discussionist.

(And to the other posters also.)

Never On Sunday!

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